WHEN ABLE MEET NOT SO ABLE!

by Jacqueline Colaco

Rheumatoid arthritis, causing degeneration of the joints, has slowly decreased my ability to move normally, hence I limp and my fingers especially have bent out of shape. I also struggle to sit or rise from a chair that is low.  Often I find strangers staring at me when I manouevre myself awkwardly or sidle into a vehicle. Some kids exhibit a fear to shake my deformed hands, while others boldly enquire what happened to them. For years now, coping with my disability and encountering it in fellow arthritis sufferers and others at disability organizations where I interact, is a way of life. It was only when a friend who worked at HR in an MNC asked me to come and share with their employees during their ‘diversity and inclusion’ week, how able persons could be comfortable with persons with disability, did I realize what a chasm and shyness existed in the minds of educated people too in their approach to the disabled. At times it is insensitivity or social stigma that drives this too and mindsets and attitudes must be changed. Recently a relevant post on my FB page threw up plenty of ‘likes’…

For starters, I hardly consider myself disabled and can’t bear it when someone greets me with the “How sad” stuff. There’s plenty I can do independently with some modifications made around the home to enable such. For what I can’t manage alone I request assistance in getting the job on hand done, which willing friends welcome. Ask and you shall receive as people cannot perceive exactly what you need.  I prefer to provide the guidance rather than be hounded by advice as to ‘how to’ etc. etc. Over enthusiastic helpers and uncalled for advice as to how to move, perform etc. can at times be troubling and confusing to a person with disability (PWD). Rebuffs can be hurtful or annoying to those proffering assistance so offer and await a response before grabbing someone by surptise. It’s happened to me often enough to throw me off balance! Most are slow movers so rather await for precise instructions if at all required.  Same goes with the eldely. Plenty of PWDs however are extremely self dependent.

Secondly, don’t feel awkward when you encounter a person with disability. Yes, some persons are visually unattractive, disfigured, difficult to comprehend in their speech, maybe hard of hearing and this takes adjustment and immense patience in dealing with them. Most are not lacking in intelligence and comprehension of what is going on around I can assure you, so please make the effort to be at ease with such persons as you would be among yourselves, offering a helping hand instinctively but not overbearingly, and modify wherever possible infrastructure, aids and appliances to suit their requirements. Do encourage persons with disability to be independent and empower them to mainstream from infancy, through childhood education and social interaction so this mutual apprehension and divide disappears from society!

(published in The Hindu 'THE ABLE ARE AT WORK' - open page 10.12.'17)