OF CLUTTER CLEARING - 2011… By JACQUELINE COLACO

     I am beginning to think that I need a clutter counsellor, because this area of one’s life seems to be the hardest to tackle, especially when you have collected sixty odd years of miscellany around you. But in all earnestness I have made an attempt. Turning sixty, two plus years ago, jolted me into the realization that I had now moved into the ‘fragile’ bracket of the living, and so it was time to put my life (or should I say ‘after life’) in order. In all fairness to myself, I got cracking and within three months had done with the making of my will and instructions for donating my body for medical research, so that my ‘after life’ clutter causes no dilemmas.

     Now to the present, which is proving more difficult. I made a start by opening up a large wooden box, a great hideaway for stuff, under what functions as my divan. I was overawed by the surprises that tumbled out; stuff from my parental home in its day of elegant entertaining - fish forks and knives, after dinner coffee spoons, some bits of china crockery, an assortment of this and that, other pieces of which had gone to my siblings. As a natural consequence, my memories drifted back to the days of that home, with its houseful of seven children. Those were the days, so how could I throw away these lovely reminders, although redundant as far as now using them in my own home is concerned. Nostalgically, I placed them back in the box. What else came out was easier to deal with - an array of steel ‘tiffin boxes’- the giveaways from my erstwhile employer Bank of Baroda, every Foundation Day. These I pulled out and have since distributed to eager maids. Hurrah! One step forward.There were other things as well; you cannot imagine how large that box is! I think it was used by my uncle Gerry D’Souza, an army man during WWII, because it bears his name painted on top of it. Thereafter I guess my parents found it useful to cart their bulky ‘household’ from place to place on every railway transfer. Let’s not digress however, as there was more to find in this bottomless box. Lots of crystal/glass dishes purchased by me during my own sojourn in New York during the eighties. In my last year there, I shopped till I dropped, imagining I’d come back to India and live in Buckingham Palace style! Still, the box is handy to plunge into when one hurriedly needs to give a gift, and these collections come in useful. So after this great exercise the box is half full. Great achievement!

      But wait, I did not close the box as I thought ‘what a waste of good storage space’, and so, when on to the cupboards, it was a simple task of clutter reorganization instead of clearing. All that the cupboards contained was precious. Again, the thought of that rainy day which looms in our minds when we have to part with unwanted stuff, popped up large as life. The box thus once again took care of the extras. As a result, I still have loads of un-needed possessions ranging from a Walkman to VCR and TV of ancient vintage, a wealth of LPs and Audio/Video cassettes  (believe they are catching the world’s fancy again, so aren’t I wise?); clothes so out of fashion from decades ago that they’re back in fashion too. An uncountable number of other odds and ends still lie around, especially in the kitchen. Papers too pile up for constant sorting. And what if I add what’s stored in the computer…another universe in itself, with CDs and DVDs to boot…

     In the final analysis - well - gold and silver have I none, so what the heck, let me cling on to all these inconsequential treasures collected over my six decades, each of which has  a special memory attached to its acquisition! But, but, but… a most challenging and niggling task still remains – cleansing the clutter of mind, heart and soul (and not to forget that of the body – FAT!). A resolution for 2012 perhaps…

WHEN ABLE MEET NOT SO ABLE!

by Jacqueline Colaco

Rheumatoid arthritis, causing degeneration of the joints, has slowly decreased my ability to move normally, hence I limp and my fingers especially have bent out of shape. I also struggle to sit or rise from a chair that is low.  Often I find strangers staring at me when I manouevre myself awkwardly or sidle into a vehicle. Some kids exhibit a fear to shake my deformed hands, while others boldly enquire what happened to them. For years now, coping with my disability and encountering it in fellow arthritis sufferers and others at disability organizations where I interact, is a way of life. It was only when a friend who worked at HR in an MNC asked me to come and share with their employees during their ‘diversity and inclusion’ week, how able persons could be comfortable with persons with disability, did I realize what a chasm and shyness existed in the minds of educated people too in their approach to the disabled. At times it is insensitivity or social stigma that drives this too and mindsets and attitudes must be changed. Recently a relevant post on my FB page threw up plenty of ‘likes’…

For starters, I hardly consider myself disabled and can’t bear it when someone greets me with the “How sad” stuff. There’s plenty I can do independently with some modifications made around the home to enable such. For what I can’t manage alone I request assistance in getting the job on hand done, which willing friends welcome. Ask and you shall receive as people cannot perceive exactly what you need.  I prefer to provide the guidance rather than be hounded by advice as to ‘how to’ etc. etc. Over enthusiastic helpers and uncalled for advice as to how to move, perform etc. can at times be troubling and confusing to a person with disability (PWD). Rebuffs can be hurtful or annoying to those proffering assistance so offer and await a response before grabbing someone by surptise. It’s happened to me often enough to throw me off balance! Most are slow movers so rather await for precise instructions if at all required.  Same goes with the eldely. Plenty of PWDs however are extremely self dependent.

Secondly, don’t feel awkward when you encounter a person with disability. Yes, some persons are visually unattractive, disfigured, difficult to comprehend in their speech, maybe hard of hearing and this takes adjustment and immense patience in dealing with them. Most are not lacking in intelligence and comprehension of what is going on around I can assure you, so please make the effort to be at ease with such persons as you would be among yourselves, offering a helping hand instinctively but not overbearingly, and modify wherever possible infrastructure, aids and appliances to suit their requirements. Do encourage persons with disability to be independent and empower them to mainstream from infancy, through childhood education and social interaction so this mutual apprehension and divide disappears from society!

(published in The Hindu 'THE ABLE ARE AT WORK' - open page 10.12.'17)